“You don’t know you’re beautiful.  That’s what makes you beautiful.”

Dear Self,

Today you will SHINE.

xoxo

Here’s the advice I have always promoted, confirmed in the words of movie actress Emma Stone. Be Inspired!

xoxo, Lindsay

Then, one day, I decided to change my focus.  Even though things would still be difficult, I decided to find outlets where I could excel and be completely, 100% me.  I had always wanted to be a part of the student government.  I had a desire to lead my peers and to use my passion for community service, interacting and giving back to people in a way that could earn me respect from other students and teachers. I decided to run for Class President by the end of my freshman year.  It forced me to step out of my comfort zone and meet new kids I had never met before.  By the end of the school year, I had most of the freshman class rallying for me to win.  I won the election and became Class President of my Sophomore Class.  It wasn’t that I was the most “popular” or that I was a “cheerleader.”  It wasn’t that I was the richest or had the cutest boyfriend… It was because I was 100% me and I made an effort to talk to everyone….and I mean EVERYONE.  I made an effort to say hello and talk with people from all different groups and cliques.  Once I started excelling in Student Government, more and more of my peers recognized me and became more comfortable with forming friendships with me.  As time went on, I slowly began getting involved in other activities that I loved to do–choir, theatre, swimming, golf, Key Club.  I started feeling more accomplished, succeeding on my own merit and on my own terms.  Somehow I became one of the most popular girls in school by my senior year.  I became popular for being authentically me.  I became popular for being nice to people that some students would never talk to or include.  I became popular for being a good student and being involved as a leader. My teachers respected me because I was conscientious, polite and determined.  My peers respected me because I never made decisions simply to “fit in.”  I was authentically me.

I had hard days from my freshman year all the way until my senior year in high school.  High school is never easy, for anyone.  It takes a lot of courage to wake up every morning and go to school feeling confident and positive.  Unfortunately, the truth is kids are mean.  They judge you.  They don’t like others who are different from them.  But you know why that is?  It’s because either they are jealous of something you have or a quality you possess, they are not happy with themselves, or they are too ignorant to really step outside of their small-minded world.  Even though this is true of high schoolers, these kinds of issues never disappear, even as you become an adult.

You will meet friends, slowly and surely. Stay strong.  Find the things you love to do and give all of your heart and dedication to those things, so that you become the best you possibly can be.  That’s when people will respect and admire you.  Be a leader.  Stay true to your strong values.  Never compromise those for anyone. It was so hard for me during high school, and even until the day I graduated, I never felt like I had a best friend. But, what I did have were masses of kids who liked and respected me because I always stayed true to who I was inside. I never fell victim to peer pressure. By the time I graduated, I had already accomplished way more than anyone else my age… and now, about 5 years later, I am still accomplishing all the goals I had set for myself.  I have gone on to accomplish my dreams. It’s not because I was lucky or blessed (even though I thank God everyday for the blessings in my life).  It’s not because things were handed to me.  I accomplished all of this because I never wavered from the person my parents raised me to be. I never let myself make poor decisions.  I never felt like sacrificing my values was worth the temporary feeling of “fitting in,” especially with people whom I didn’t always respect.  I stayed dedicated to what I loved to do. I remained the positive, driven and ambitious girl I had always been. I never settled for anything less than I deserved.  I worked hard every day, and I kept my eye on the “big picture.”

When you are having a bad day or a tough time at school, try to stay focused on the amazing things you have to offer that make you uniquely you.  Find a few good teachers to really connect with and start a conversation with them once in a while.  Sometimes, when kids are being mean, it’s nice to have someone to go and talk to during lunch or after school.  Think about the activities, sports or clubs you want to try and attend a meeting to learn more about them.  Chances are, those are the kinds of places you will find friends who connect with you and understand the kind of girl you are.  Surround yourself with people who love and care about you–your family, your siblings, your mentors.  These are the people who love and care about you and have your best interests at heart.   Lastly, never let anyone make you feel inferior.  You do not have to change for anyone. You are worth so much.  Never lower yourself or your expectations for anyone–girl friends, boys, “cool” kids…. anyone.

It takes time, and you will have great days and not-so-great days, but if you can picture the goals you have for yourself (daily, monthly, yearly, life goals) and stay focused on the things you need to do to achieve those goals, you will be leagues above your peers intellectually, socially and mentally. You are so beautiful and so amazing!  You have so much to offer the world!  Never, ever forget that.

Be Beautiful. Be You.

XOXO

Love, Lindsay

It’s hard to believe my journey as Miss Maryland is coming to an end.  Not only have I accomplished one of my long-time dreams, but I feel as if I have earned the confidence, communication skills and composure to go anywhere, do anything and speak and learn from anyone with whom I may cross paths with in the future.  The Miss Maryland crown has blessed me with opportunities to use my voice, my talents and my passion for inspiring others, and for this, I will forever be grateful.  The work I have done with the Children’s Miracle Network, the USO, the Girl Scouts, the Confidence Coalition, schools across Maryland and so many other charitable organizations has allowed me to realize the power of one person.  One person, one voice, one passionate heart can touch the lives of others, positively affecting their life forever.

The work I have done with my platform, Beyond Beauty: Building Self-Esteem and Inspiring Confidence in Girls, has touched me in ways I never thought possible.  Throughout my travels speaking to young women about the beauty of uniqueness, the power each of us holds to make a difference and the importance in finding confidence in our own talents and attributes, I have learned that young women are in need of positive role models in their life daily.  Hundreds of girls have opened up and reached out to me, and through my work, I realized that my voice has inspired these young women to redefine beauty, from the inside out.

My year as Miss Maryland would not have been possible without the support of so many of my amazing sponsors, and thank each of you for providing me with services, support and friendship.  Each sponsor has become a dear friend, and I will never forget the love you have shown me throughout my reign.  Thank you, especially, to Robin Fleming, Grace Gordy, Dr. Jo, Marcus Rincon, and Kami Robinson–to each of you, I am extremely grateful for all you’ve done and for entering my life!

To Sherry Rush, my Executive Director, and the Miss Maryland Board, thank you for supporting me along my journey and giving me this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

To Mary Teal Mulligan, Miss Maryland’s Outstanding Teen 2010, my sister queen, you are truly a star.  It was an honor to share in this year’s memories with you.  You always will be a little sister to me!

To Bonnie and Scott Durham, Alan Zemla, Barb Witowski and Kevin Mohorn, you have helped to make my dream come true.  Thank you for guiding me along on this incredible journey.

To the Allen Family, I know God brought you into my life for a special reason.  I now have another family to call my own.  Katie and Carson, I am so proud to have you as Godchildren.  You are both very special to me and make me so proud.

To my friends, family, fans and supporters, thank you for being by my side, for believing in me, encouraging me and being the best cheerleaders a girl could ask for.  To Leah, thank you for being the best friend a girl could ask for.  You have been by my side during this whole journey, and I cannot wait to share in more of life’s adventures with you!  To Kayla, Brittany, Lauren, Kathryn, Brittany, Gabby, Jessica…. we have so many more memories ahead.  Love you all with all my heart.

To Kasey, you are more than a sister, you are my best friend.  Thank you for being there through all of the ups, downs, tears of disappointment and tears of joy.  You are an inspiration to me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you!  I know, together, we will accomplish all of our dreams.  Get ready for the ride!  I love you.

To my Mom and Dad, thank you for shaping me into the woman I am today.  You are my everything.  You have sacrificed so much to bring Kasey and me the utmost success, and I will forever be grateful for your never-ending love and support.  You have helped to make all of my dreams come true… and there a still a few more! ;)  Daddy, thanks for being my biggest fan.  Mommy, you are my angel.  I love you both.

To all young women with dreams, remember that being the best version of you is the key to all success.  Never give up, follow your heart, and know that with hard work, confidence and passion, you can accomplish anything.

Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  I will forever live by this quote, and I hope that my legacy as Miss Maryland 2010 will be felt in the hearts of each and every individual who I have touched along the way.

XOXO,

Lindsay A. Staniszewski

Miss Maryland 2010

Middle school is an awkward time for a lot of girls. At that age, it can be so hard to fit in.

For Anna Thomas, middle school in metro Atlanta was a total nightmare. “I remember a bunch of girls would stare at me at lunch and make fun of me,” Thomas, who is now 18, remembers. “People would walk by me and laugh at me.” Her humiliation didn’t end there.

Her classmates refused to let her sit in the back of the bus, where the “cool people” sat. Every time she raised her hand in English class, kids yelled at her to “shut up.” She was called “the weird girl.” One girl told her she looked like “road kill.”

Thomas says she never did anything to set off these attacks. She just was an easy target. “I was in that awkward stage of growing up,” she says. “I was the odd one out.”

High school didn’t get any easier. In fact, the girls in Thomas’ high school were even more vicious.

Before prom, some of the girls sent her text messages that read, “If you go to the prom, you’re going to regret it. Your face is going to be so messed up.” They came to the restaurant where she worked, cursed her out, and slashed the tires on her car.

Thomas changed schools — twice. The harassment didn’t stop.

So much hatred was being directed at Thomas that she began to hate herself. “I had no confidence because of the way people treated me.”

Thinking she was ugly and fat, Thomas began throwing up after she ate. Sometimes she’d throw up 10 times a day. She developed an eating disorder.

To become the fun, popular person all the kids at school said she wasn’t, Thomas started drinking. By age 17 she had an alcohol problem and was in rehab.

She was so miserable that she thought about killing herself. “I would go to sleep and wish I wouldn’t wake up anymore.”

Why Do Girls Act So Mean?

All teenage girls tease each other from time to time. They roll their eyes and make nasty comments. But the girls who were taunting Thomas were especially cruel.

Thomas isn’t the only one who’s had to deal with mean girls. Some girls are so viciously abused that they don’t want to live anymore. Fifteen-year-old Phoebe Prince, a Massachusetts high school student, was so badly harassed by girls at her school that she killed herself.

The media is at least partly to blame for these kinds of “mean girl” behaviors, says Charisse Nixon, PhD, an associate professor and developmental psychologist at Penn State Erie. “We are inundated with media images of cruel behavior as funny…with reality television shows that celebrate meanness.”

An example is the 2004 Lindsay Lohan movie, Mean Girls. In the movie, a trio of popular girls terrorizes the other students at their high school. “How many teen girls own that movie and watch it repeatedly because it’s ‘funny?’” Nixon asks.

How Do Mean Girls Get Mean?

Researchers say teenage girls have a few basic needs, which Nixon calls the ABCs & ME. A stands for acceptance, B is a sense of belonging, C is control, and ME is the need for a meaningful existence. When those needs aren’t met, girls sometimes do mean things to get them met.

For example, “If kids don’t feel like they have control in one area of their life, they are likely to be aggressive to gain control in some other area of their life,” Nixon says. The girl who claws her way to the top of the social order dictates who can and can’t be part of her inner circle of friends. That power helps meet her need for control.

Girls use name calling, rumors, and general nastiness to help them rise to the top of the heap. “It’s such a time of jockeying for position. The person who controls the information is usually the popular person,” says Cheryl Dellasega, PhD, GNP, professor of Medicine and Humanities at the Penn State University College of Medicine. She and Nixon co-wrote a book called Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying about ways to prevent teasing, gossip, and other bullying behaviors.

Who Are the Mean Girls’ Targets?

The stereotype of the mean girls’ target is someone who looks or acts different.

“It could be the girl who is overweight. It could be the girl who is not as attractive,” Dellasega says. Another target might be someone who makes a mistake — like saying “hi” to the popular girl’s boyfriend, she says.

Often, though, the nastiness is focused on someone who is just minding her own business.

Thomas didn’t say or do anything to provoke the girls at her school. She didn’t gossip about them or try to steal their boyfriends.

“The majority of victims are not provocative victims… that is, they are not those annoying kids who continually provoke others,” Nixon says. “The majority of victims, instead, are what we call ‘passive victims.’” Whether they’re provocative or passive, a lot of kids are the victims of mean girls.

Nixon and guidance counselor Stan Davis interviewed about 13,000 kids in grades 5-12 for Youth Voice, a research project that’s studying ways to help kids deal with meanness and bullying. They found that about half the kids were being harassed at least once a month.

Mean Girls Go Viral

School isn’t the only place where mean girls operate. Today they have a new forum for humiliating their victims: cyberspace.

When Thomas was in middle school, a girl in her class created a MySpace page with Thomas’ name and face on it. The girl then sent out nasty messages to some of their other classmates, pretending those messages were coming from Thomas.

In high school, mean girls posted ugly pictures on Thomas’ Facebook page. They wrote, “You do drugs” and “anorexic” on her Facebook wall.

Being insulted or harassed at school is much different than being insulted or harassed online. At school, maybe a couple of other people could find out what happened. When something embarrassing is posted on your Facebook or Myspace page, hundreds or even thousands of people might see it.

The Internet also gives mean girls an easy way to hide. “We found that kids tend to think that because they’re behind a screen they’re not responsible — that they can say whatever they want,” Nixon says.

“What kids need to understand is that whenever they are on the screen, they leave a fingerprint.” Nasty or humiliating comments posted today can stay online for years — even after they’re deleted.

How to Deal With Mean Girls

If you’re being harassed at school, don’t try to handle the problem by yourself. “The best thing they can do is access support,” Nixon says. Tell a friend, your parents, or a school guidance counselor. Let them help you deal with the mean girls.

The worst thing you can do is ignore the problem or try to get revenge. In Nixon’s survey, these tactics often backfired.

Try not to let the mean girls get to you. Standing up for yourself can show bullies that you’re confident and not easily intimidated.

If you can get a few of your friends to stand up against the mean girls with you, you’re less likely to be singled out. “There’s power in numbers, Dellasega says. “Nobody’s going to go after a large group of people.”

The problem is, bystanders to mean girl bullying are often too afraid to speak up. “Lots of times they stand or watch, and they might even laugh or agree with the bully because they’re afraid they’re going to be next,” Dellasega says.

If you’re worried that you’ll get singled out for speaking out, know that you don’t have to put yourself at much risk to really help someone who’s struggling, Nixon says. All you have to do is be there for the girl who’s being harassed. Talk to her at school. Call her at home.

Learning to Love Yourself

If you are being harassed or bullied by mean girls, remember that it isn’t your fault. You aren’t the problem — they are.

It took a lot of therapy for Thomas to recognize that she wasn’t the person the mean girls had made her out to be. “I was basing my reality off of everybody else,” she says. Once she got treatment, “I learned who I really am. I am so much more than all those people said I was.”

Now a freshman in college, Thomas has a newfound self-confidence. “I would walk into a room of girls and want to cry and hide. Now I feel like I’m pretty and beautiful, because I am. I respect myself.”

Whether you are getting ready for prom, a night with your girls or a simply want to try something new for a day, Seventeen.com has how-to advice on how to achieve these award-winning hair styles and looks.  Check them out here!

Anne Hathaway

INSPIRATION: A modern take on an Edwardian influenced style accented with a bohemian flair; a soft, loose style with beautiful shine

HOW TO:

1. Begin by parting the hair down the center and apply Fekkai Advanced Full Blown Volume Styling Whip to the hair from roots ends.
2. Blow-dry the hair using Fekkai Round Brush.
3. Next, pull hair into a low ponytail at the nape of the neck, making sure to cover the ears.
4. Twist the ponytail into a loose knot.
5. The key is keeping it loose for a touch of bohemian flair. It’s almost like a draping around the face with wispy pieces of hair coming out softly.
6. Finish the look by spraying the Fekkai Coiff^TM Sheer Hold Hairspray.

Natalie Portman

INSPIRATION: A glamorous bohemian style that’s soft, romantic, and feminine.

HOW TO:

1. Apply an anti-frizz product and volumizer before blow-drying the hair smooth using a round brush.
2. Then curl the hair using a 1″ curling iron to create soft and feminine waves.
3. Next, create a foundation for the style by backcombing the bottom layers of the hair.
4. Sweep the hair to the left side of her face, securing with bobby pins.
5. For a finishing touch Didier used one of Natalie’s earrings as a shimmery accent piece.
6. Secure the look with a sheer hairspray.

Reese Witherspoon

INSPIRATION: To compliment her gown, Renato channeled a mod-60′s high ponytail over combined with the top glamour

HOW TO:

1. Create the foundation for the style by applying Fekkai Coiff^TM Bouffant Lifting & Texturizing Spray Gel and the Fekkai Silky Straight Ironless^TM Smooth Finish Serum.
2. Blow-dry hair with the Fekkai Large Round Brush to enhance fullness and volume.
3. Divide the hair into two sections.
4. Using a 1 ½ curling iron create movement and volume on the bottom layer.
5. Tease the roots of the top section to create the volume.
6. Finish the look by spraying Fekkai Coiff^TM Sheer Hold Hairspray to secure the silhouette and shape of the style.

Scarlett Johansson

INSPIRATION: Duffy sought to bring out ‘the real Scarlett Johansson’ by creating a young, sexy, modern shag with dry texture.

HOW TO:

1. Begin by applying Fekkai Advanced Full Blown Volume^TM Styling Whip to towel-dried hair, working the product in from roots to ends.
2. Dry hair using Fekkai Classic Brush to create loose, tousled waves for the textured effect.
3. Apply Fekkai Full Blown Volume^TM Lifting Hairspray to roots to prep the foundation.
4. At the nape of the neck, spritz hair with Fekkai Coiff^TM Océanique Tousled Wave Spray.
5. Using a 1 ½ inch curling iron wrap 2-3 inch sections of hair around the barrel of the iron, leaving ends out.  Continue to repeat this action throughout, bearing in mind the way the root falls.
6. Take a hairdryer with nozzle attachment and blast the root of the hair for hold and volume.
7. Run fingers through the hair to break-up the waves.
8. Clamp the ends with a flat iron to flatten the curl, creating an imperfect, sleeker wave.
9. Finish the style with Fekkai Coiff^TM Sheer Hold Hairspray to give a modern, edgy look.

Source: www.Seventeen.com